You'll know when the time is right

Leaving, or planning to leave, any relationship is not a thing to be taken lightly.  It is, in every sense 'life changing'.

Everyone has their ups and downs, everyone argues (and I don't believe anyone that says they don't !), usually these little tiffs blow over soon enough and life gets back on track.  Sometimes they can be more serious and take a few days for each partner to 'calm down' before getting back to normal.

This is not unusual ...

However, if your arguments become more and more frequent, and you find that you are the one always 'backing down' and apologising first, then something is 'out of balance'.  You could be the victim of emotional abuse, being given the 'silent treatment' because you don't agree with your partner, affection is withheld, you are not worthy of spending time with, being 'controlled' in other words, until you come around to his way of thinking.  Your opinion or thoughts don't matter to him.

This is only one small aspect of emotional abuse but  it may not necessarily be a reason for you to consider leaving.

You will know when the time is right .....

You won't need to be told when the time is right for you to leave or to start putting your plan of escape into action.

Look and listen for the signs that your time is now ...

There are many physical and emotional signs there if only you can recognise them.

Is there an atmosphere in your home when your partner/husband is there ?
Do you wake up feeling sad but don't know why ?
Does your mood not improve as the day progresses ?
Do you feel like you are literally carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders ?
Do your eyelids feel heavy and you have to strain to keep them open but you are not tired ?
Do you feel stifled/suffocated in the presence of your significant other ?
Are you unable to get on with everyday things but don't know why, even though you are not being physically restrained ?
Do you have no motivation to do anything ?
Do you eat too much just for comfort ?
Do you silently cry yourself to sleep but don't really know why ?
Have you stopped taking a pride in your appearance because you don't want him to look at you ?
Do you avoid eye contact ?
Have you stopped making conversation because you know he's not interested/isn't listening ?
Do  you spend as much time away from home as possible when he's there ?  i.e. taking longer to do the shopping, taking the long way home ?
Do you keep your hands clenched when you are with  him ? or cross your arms across your chest ?
these are signs you are mentally blocking him out of your space/life.
Does your whole body clench up when you hear him come in the door ?
Are you finding it difficult to concentrate on anything ?
Do you feel  held back ?
Do you feel like you are looking at life through a fog ?

So by listening to your body you will know when is the time to end your relationship.  None of the above are natural or acceptable.  You deserve to be relaxed and happy.

If after a couple of days you think that it was 'just another blip' or 'it will all blow over' etc. etc., then it's not your time.

However if after several day/weeks you still feel resentful/angry/upset and hurt, then it's time to take things to the next level.

You will literally wake up one morning and think 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH1' - the title of my book, you will have found your strength and will not tolerate any more abusive behaviour.  This is what happened to me, I remember it quite clearly, I had taken my  youngest child to school and it was just as if I were in a dream surrounded by thick fog - then it struck me 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH', the rest, as they say, is history.

Until you have had this 'awakening' any plans you may make will be a waste of your time, energy and money, because you just won't go through with it, you are not ready.  You may leave, you may even get a place of your own, but until you really know 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH' it will end in failure.

When you have made the decision you will instantly feel relieved and able to go on and make plans for the future.

If you are ready to move on, my book will help explain some of the things you will have to deal with and how to cope.  The link is in the right sidebar.  If I can help you in any way, please use the contact form also on the right.

Take care of yourself, you are special and deserve to be treated with respect and love.

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