Should You Stay ?

If your marriage/relationship has reached the point that you have searched out this site/book, then you must be experiencing abuse of some kind, why then, would you or anyone want to stay in that sort of situation ?

The most common reasons for women staying in abusive relationships are:

Fear of the unknown, i.e. not knowing where to go, who to turn to, or how to proceed to get their lives back and move forward.

The worry that their children will be affected - I totally understand, but is it better for you to stay in a toxic situation, arguing constantly in front of the children, or to move on, into a peaceful life, no more shouting or screaming to upset you or your children ?

Not being able to manage financially - yes it has to be said it won't be easy, and again I speak from experience, but it's not impossible.  With a little careful planning and living a more frugal lifestyle there's no reason why you should go without anything.

I'm writing in the UK, and there are benefits available if you cannot manage financially, there's no reason why anyone should struggle these days.

You will be offered advice and opinions from all sides as well as here on the net, but only you will know when you have reached breaking point and can't take anymore.

In writing the book I am assuming that you have tried to mend your marriage, fix problems, compromise, be more understanding, possibly had counselling etc. etc., all to no avail, and now you are ready for that final step to freedom.

My only regret is that I didn't leave earlier  in the relationship.  Even after many, many years of escaping my first abusive marriage (there have been two) I still hurt, badly.  Thinking back and reliving the bad times in order to write this and my other book  'My Life of Hell in an Abusive Marriage' has reduced me to tears.  Don't let it get this bad for you.

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